


a promise of hope (is enough to feel free)

by micromys



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 5 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micromys/pseuds/micromys
Summary: Having what you've always wanted and believing that you have it are two different things.They'll get there.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 672





	a promise of hope (is enough to feel free)

_It's all right  
You'll survive  
It's all right  
You'll be fine  
Just left with scars  
To remind you where the wounds are  
To remind you to  
sew every glimmer you get to your skin  
And let every sound you hear come crashing in  
Knit your fragile veins to the wrists of your friends  
And know that you will see them again._

— Hannah Fury

“Catra, can we please talk about this?”

“Nothing to talk about.”

Adora huffed out a sigh, rubbing the heel of her hand against her face. She was so tired. Too tired to deal with this right now. “Obviously there is.”

“Really, there’s not. I’m fine. So unless something’s wrong with _you_ , then there’s nothing to talk about!”

“Of course nothing’s wrong with—“ she bit down on the rest of her sentence, pinching the bridge of her nose and taking a deep breath. _Definitely_ too tired to be angry. “Catra. Please. I thought — I thought we were past this.”

There’s a shuffle in the dim light of their tent as her girlfriend sits up on the pallet, shoulders hunched in on herself, ears drawn back and down. “Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it.”

A beat of silence, and then Catra’s spine goes ramrod straight, an undercurrent of panic in her voice. “That’s— if there _was_ a problem! Which there _isn’t!_ ”

Adora stares. Catra stares back. 

Exhaustion and irritation gets to her, and Adora slumps to the tent floor, dropping her head on Catra’s rigid shoulder and whining. “Catra, _what_ are you even _talking_ about.”

Catra crumbles a little at the touch, head moving to rest against her own, as she always does. That’s better. This was what Adora wanted, instead of spending all her time after the camp dinner looking for her wayward girlfriend, who was hiding for some unknown reason, rather than spending time unwinding with their friends. Her wayward girlfriend who can also _turn invisible_ whenever she’d rather not be found, which is far more often than Adora would like.

She had never been good at reading people, but she’s getting better at it with Catra. At least, she thinks she is. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. 

Like today. Today, which had seemed totally normal. Well, the new normal, anyway. Another day of traveling, reaching out to the people of Etheria to help them in the uncertain new times after the defeat of Horde Prime. Learning about the magic that now brimmed in every corner of their world, new to those who lived there despite it being as ancient as the planet itself.

* * *

The immediate aftermath of the battle had felt less like waking from a dream, and more like falling into one. Adora had kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the vision to fade away, to see Horde Prime’s cold stare and the seeping neon infecting the planet she’d sworn to protect.

Infecting _her_.

But it didn’t happen. Instead there had been celebration, an overwhelming sense of relief as people rushed to find their loved ones that had been freed from Prime’s control. (Not everyone had come back, and she had known they wouldn’t, even as she tried not to think about it. “You can’t save everyone, Adora.” It was a lesson she didn’t think she’d ever really learn.) She’d been hugged and thanked by so many people she couldn’t keep track, just smiling and nodding and letting herself be swept from group to group on a wave of elation.

Most importantly, there had been a constant, unwavering presence at her shoulder. Adora hesitated to call it a shadow, given the amount of light that burst open in her heart every time she looked over to see mismatched eyes and a sharp-toothed grin. Finally she had been allowed a moment to just rest with those who meant the most to her — Catra cuddled up on her shoulder, Bow and Glimmer pressed against her other side as they all gazed up to the stars and made plans for the future.

The _future_. They had one, now.

A future that started back at Bright Moon. Glimmer had tried to hand the crown back to her father, but Micah had adamantly refused. He was happy to help guide her, but she’d proven the throne was hers. Besides, he’d told her, he had a lot to catch up on — and she’d had her mother’s example to learn from. 

Adora’s room in the palace didn’t feel as ludicrously huge as it used to, considering it now held three occupants. When the celebrating died down, the Best Friends Squad (New and Improved) had walked there to wish Adora good night before retiring. Glimmer had turned to Catra and offered to show her to a room of her own, but Catra had simply looked at her before slipping through the door past Adora, Melog padding after her on quiet feet. When the Queen looked at her questioningly, Adora simply shrugged and offered a sheepish grin before following.

Glimmer might have disagreed, but as far as Adora was concerned, the bed was much more suited for two women (and one giant alien cat) than it was for one person alone. At first, Catra had curled up at the end of the bed, ears flat against her head and managing to look both stubborn and anxious at the same time. As though she were expecting Adora to kick her out.

As though she hadn’t simply spared Adora the effort of asking her to stay.

What followed were the best nights of sleep Adora had ever had in her life — even if her tossing and turning resulted in mornings of hopelessly tangled sheets and limbs. Even if nightmares drove Catra from remaining at the end of the bed to tuck herself into Adora’s side instead, one hand clutching the back of her neck. Even if Adora herself sometimes woke suddenly in the darkness, heart pounding and struggling to breathe, Horde Prime’s taunting in her ear — until she felt claws gently combing through her hair, raking lightly against her scalp until she was lulled back into sleep. 

She would wake with cramped limbs, her shirt uncomfortably damp with sweat where it was pressed between sleepy bodies. Sometimes there was fur in her mouth, or in her nose. Other times she’d shift and claws would prick her in places that made her jump and let out highly embarrassing noises. All in all, it was kind of a mess.

It was also absolutely perfect.

There was still a lot of work to be done. The kingdoms had survived, but all had suffered damage. There were many without homes and mourning loved ones. Adding to the confusion was the sudden infusion of magic _everywhere_ — in the creatures, in the earth, in the air. Most of it wasn’t inherently dangerous, but all of it was new and strange and unsettling to a people who had already endured so much upheaval. Requests for She-Ra’s help came in from all corners of Etheria — not because her powers were especially _needed_ , but because she was someone that could be trusted. That was one thing everyone knew — She-Ra had saved them. She-Ra could help.

And maybe she could, but every time a new request came in, Catra would intercept it. How she always seemed to know when it was coming, Adora had no idea. Either way, Catra would stonewall, intimidate, or redirect the messenger until they had no choice but to leave Adora alone. 

“I don’t mind, you know. I _like_ helping,” she’d said, after one particularly stubborn emissary had run screaming (and missing a few scraps of clothing).

Catra examined her claws, scowling. “Adora, you were _dying_. Can you just… take a break, for a while?”

“But I’m—“

“She-Ra, yeah, yeah. I _know_. But no one _needs_ She-Ra right now, okay? They’ll be fine.”

“Still—”

“ _Please_ , Adora?”

That had stopped her in her tracks. The vulnerability in Catra’s words, the quiet pleading in her eyes. Even a month ago, this would have turned into a full-blown fight. But now? This was Catra, reaching out. And Adora was learning to listen.

Not just to Catra, but to herself, too. And she was so, _so_ tired.

So she’d smiled, taken Catra’s hands in hers, and said “Okay.”

True to her word, she had taken a break. To her surprise (but apparently not anyone else’s), no one seemed to mind. Glimmer and Bow had actually seemed _pleased_ by it. And it had been nice, to worry about nothing but reconnecting with her friends, tender makeout sessions with her girlfriend, leisurely flights with Swift Wind, and watching as the kingdom put itself back together.

However, Adora didn’t know how to be idle for long, and soon enough she began to grow antsy. There was a lot to do, and she _wanted_ to be a part of it. She wanted to see Etheria, to get to know its people better, to experience the magic now threading through her home. When she brought it up to Catra, she’d expected resistance — but what she received instead was a simple “Well obviously I’m going with you. Somebody has to keep you from working yourself back into the grave.”

And if she’d jumped on her for an enthusiastic kiss immediately afterward, well. No one else had to know that.

Glimmer had approved of the idea, and even sometimes accompanied them herself. Adora and Catra (along with Swift Wind and Melog, of course) were the constant, but as they went from kingdom to kingdom, village to village, friends joined and parted. Sometimes to help, sometimes just for the company. They were welcomed either way.

Slowly, slowly, a new normal began to take shape.

* * *

And this night definitely hadn’t been normal. They had spent the day working with Perfuma and Scorpia, helping to resolve some clashes between the previously established magical plants in Plumeria, and the new, somewhat-overpowered magical plants that had crept in overnight. The work mostly made Adora feel like a glorified gardener, but given her recent responsibilities, she couldn’t complain. 

Usually after the work was done for the day, everyone would gather for dinner and stories (and dancing, in Plumeria’s case). Except this time, someone was missing.

Adora didn’t know what to think. Catra did not like to let her out of her sight for long, even now. The fact that she’d skipped out after dinner, hadn’t returned, and even evaded any efforts to be found set off all kinds of alarm bells. It didn’t make sense. Catra _liked_ Perfuma and Scorpia. So why would she run off now?

Fortunately, she managed to stave off panic when she returned to their shared tent later in the night, and Catra had decided to reappear. Which, of course, left them where they were now.

“Hey,” she murmured, reaching for Catra’s hand. “Won’t you tell me what happened?”

Catra brooded for a moment longer. “…Nothing happened. That’s the truth.”

“Then why are you hiding?” 

“I don’t _know!_ ” The sudden yell jostled Adora’s head off of Catra’s shoulder, and she blinked at her girlfriend in the darkness. “That’s the thing! Nothing happened! Even though it probably _should_ have happened. Even though it doesn’t _make sense_ for nothing to have happened.”

For a moment, Adora could only stare, mouth hanging open. “…I’m confused.”

Catra let out high, frustrated growl. “Good things don’t just _happen_ to me.”

It was really tempting to say _Yeah, not if you don’t let them_ , but somehow Adora managed not to. Barely. 

“Look, I just— every time I wanted something, I lost it. No matter how important it was, it was taken from me. And now, this? What I have right now?” Catra raised their clasped hands into the air, shaking them as if to make a point. “This is the _most_ important. I’ve never wanted _anything_ as much as I want this.”

Adora squeezed her hand gently, making her stop. “But isn’t that… good?”

One ear flicked, and she watched as a parade of emotions flit across Catra’s face before she turned away, scowling. “Yeah, but… that just means it’s gonna be so much worse when it goes away.”

Adora froze. 

There was so much she wanted to say, wanted to ask. _Why? What do you think is going to happen? Are you going to leave? Am I going to leave? Is there some danger Prime told you about that you’ve been keeping a secret? Tell me!_

But… she’d gotten better at listening. They both had. _Nothing’s wrong_ , she had said. And if she hadn’t been lying, then…

Adora sighed, suddenly flopping down to the pallet, pulling Catra along with her with a yelp. She turned until they were lying facing each other, unable to hide. “…I know how you feel.”

Catra watched her, saying nothing.

“I keep thinking this can’t be real, you know? I feel like I’m missing something. Like there’s some threat I’m supposed to be preparing for, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t — I don’t know what to _do_ when there’s no one to fight. Like, what’s the point of me then?”

At that, Catra’s lips drew back a little, showing her teeth. “The point of you is just— _you_.” 

Adora smiled. “I know. At least, I’m working on it. Mostly thanks to you. Well— and Mara.”

“Mara?”

She tried not to laugh at the barely concealed jealousy in Catra’s voice. Sometimes she was so predictable. “The last She-Ra. She’s— it’s a thing. It’s not important.”

“ _Sounds_ important.”

“She spoke to me once, before the Heart. Asked me the same thing you did.”

“And what was that?”

“‘What do you want, Adora?’”

Catra pressed her mouth into a thin line, her gaze searching. “…And? What _do_ you want?”

Adora leaned forward, brushing their lips together until Catra’s features relaxed and she opened herself to the kiss. “I think you already know.”

“Say it.”

“This,” she returned, moving to press their foreheads together. “Just this.” 

The silence was broken by a rumbling purr, making them both giggle. Catra pulled away slightly, her eyes brighter now even in the dark than they had been all day. “Yeah. Me too.”

“But… I think it’ll be a while before I really believe I have it. So… yeah. I get it.”

Catra contemplated this, tail swishing against their legs. “We’re messed up,” she stated, voice flat.

“Better messed up together than messed up apart.”

“Yeah.” Catra shuffled closer, tucking her face into Adora’s neck, chest softly rumbling. “Yeah.”

Adora enjoyed the closeness, reaching to run her fingers through Catra’s hair, smiling when the purring grew louder. It was already starting to grow out, which she knew was both a relief and an annoyance for Catra. A relief because she was getting back something Prime had taken from her, and an annoyance because the in-between state of her hair made her even fluffier than usual, which made touching it irresistible for some of their friends. Well, mostly for Bow. 

And Adora. (But she was allowed.)

“Hey.” 

Catra made a soft, questioning noise, and Adora pressed a kiss into her hair. “Love you.”

She felt the shudder that ran down her girlfriend’s spine, and nuzzled at an ear, grinning. Her smug moment didn’t last long, as Catra retaliated by slipping her hands under the back of Adora’s shirt and lightly running her claws down her back in exactly the way she knew she was weak to. Adora shivered in delight and relaxed into the embrace, closing her eyes and humming whenever Catra hit a particularly nice spot with her fingers. 

_And you? What do you want, when this is all over?_

_This. Whatever ‘this’ is. That’s all I want._

Adora was so content to drift in a state of sleepy pleasure that she almost missed the “Love you, too,” that was mumbled into her chest. 

Almost.

**Author's Note:**

> Had to get some feelings for these disaster children off my chest. Love them. What a finale!
> 
> Kind of also want to write a longer adventure fic that involves all of them going off to save Angella from the in-between, but, well. Who knows if I have the capability to do that!
> 
> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, and am endlessly grateful for any comments you might have.


End file.
